So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
