they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
