thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
it's like heaven, but drunker
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
