Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
