He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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