i think my tv is drunk
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Sext me about skeletons
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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