last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Randomize
