Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
