Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

the condom got lost in my hair

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.

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(310): View more from California

Sorry I couldn't get my dick out

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Well now I have my semen on her headphones

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(253): View more from Washington

These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency

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(205): View more from Alabama

I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.

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(616): View more from Michigan

We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink

(1-616): View more from Michigan

Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened

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(818): View more from California

He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.

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