areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
