Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
