I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
