the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Woke up backwards on a recliner
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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