I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
