That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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