Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
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