I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
