don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
