Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
