I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
