There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
