In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
