I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
