THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
