Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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