dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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