Betty ford says i'm here all night
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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