I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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