that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
