real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I need to sanitize my soul.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
