Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
