they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
