I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
