You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
