so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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