It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
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