is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
