Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
