She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
