Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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