Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
