is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
