i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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