at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
