I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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