The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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