We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
