we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
