the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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