She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just found puke in my bra..
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
