Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
